So ok here it is.  Watch the first minute and a half.

I am one of three brothers so I can tell you there are so many things wrong with these fuckers, for instance

1) Jump suits, seriously?  You dumb shits look like you are in your thirties.  Jump suits are for 10 and under and 80 and over.  No middle ground here guys.

2) Your talent, as brothers, is dancing?  So let me get this straight when you guys get together you practice dancing? I cant even imagine wanting to or even considering asking my brothers to dance with me.  When brothers get together they should be either A) Getting completely shithoused or B) eating too much on Thanksgiving or Christmas.

3) Your fake enthusiasm.  Brothers are supposed to keep it real with each other.  The one brother should tell the other two they are being fake as shit. Then one of those brothers should tell the other one that he is being a fake ass pussy. Then they should all punch each other in the face.

4) Your actual dance routine.  So ok, lets say you are slightly mentally retarded, as these three are, and you decide you and your other brothers combined talent is dancing and you come up with a routine.  What is up with your gay ass Nsync fist pumps? Nsync could get away with it to get tail, a decade ago. Those bastards wouldn't even try it now.  But you idiots think it looks good?

5) That stupid cooking dinner or whatever the fuck part of your routine. Which one of you geniuses came up with the idea that for literally half of your routine 2 of the 3 wouldn't be doing shit and just standing there.  What the fuck was that whole thing?

6) And this one should really be 6-100.  When I first saw that 69 spider circle buttfuck spinning shit I was severely disturbed.  But then I thought about it more and now I am even more disturbed. First of all which one of you fuckers came up with the idea for a dance move that would have your brothers balls in your face?  and then second I was thinking to myself, my god, these fuckers have practiced this over and over and over.  So for many hours of these idiots days and a percentage of their life they had their brothers balls in their face. 

Here is a lesson to you Platt Brothers.  This is not how normal brothers behave.  It is not even fine to do this shit in your weird little incest perverted world but at what point did you decided you would do this shit on national TV?  ManBracket way way way down dudes. 

You are wondering how huh? Well I am goiing to smile and talk at the same time (at the end).  That will get them to trust me.  It looks completely normal and is totally natural to speak like this.

Fuck this guy, I am not buying from him on principle.

You dont look hot striking that pose.  You just look dumb and you look like you are trying to hard. Just go back to the old standards: Clevage, nudity, etc.  That is what we want.

Who fucking told you that this was a good look.  You look like a fucking Flamingo. 

What are you tyring to do?  Air the pits out?  Pretend your a model?  Stick out your titties (admorable at least)? I just dont get it and more importantly I dont like it.

Just go back to showing your tits on camera, would you?

Let me count the ways I dont give a shit about you and the Polar Bears:

1) Who are you to think I give a shit what you have to say Mr Wyle?  What, you were in something like 30 seconds of an ER episode or something?  As far as I can recall you left to become a big time movie star?  That seemed to be as good of an idea as this sorry excuse of a Commercial

B) Cmon dude, Polar Bears?  In the beginning of the commercial with the depressing music I thought you were going to get into something all real like starving kids or something but then you bust out Polar Bears?  What was the last thing a Polar Bear did for anyone?

3) And your organization really had to name itself the "WWF"?  If Jimmy the Super Fly Snuka and Hulkamania are not on your board of directors I am going to DDT you into a glacier.

3a) $16 a month for Polar Bears?  Seriously?  The Red Cross only asks for a few dollars a month.  Like I am going to give up my porn subscription for a Polar Bear.

6) If Polar Bears are so damn important how come the WWF's logo is of a Koala Be]]>Wed, 31 Dec 2008 00:51:50 GMTWud I be up to?
Ya know bagging some groceries and shit
Just biding my time until I make it big in the "Industry"


I am looking so fly in my 10 Carat looking fake ass diamond studs in each of my earz
All the bitches be looking
All these housemoms and shit be mesmorized by my bling
They be thinking 'Damn he must be a baller'



Look at this fool
Buying some Generic Mac and Cheese and shit
I only buy the finest Kraft Cheese and Shells
Dont be hatin

Yeah that is right ladies
I dont want to be bragging
But I can substitute this cucumber for the real thing
If ya know what I am saying
Shit, Darnell, you be so sly!

And that Milk you be buying
I am down with Chocolate and White Milk if you know what I means
Sheeeeat, I see you looking at my fly ass Louis Vulton pants
If you was only so lucky

I see you be buying some feminine hygiene products
Not only will I make sure to bag in a separate bag from your deli meats
But I will also not tell
Yo secret is safe with Darnell

I also see you be buying some Mr Clean Lime Scent
Yeahz I likes that
A woman who keeps the house clean
While Darnell is out making records
You might be aight fo Darnell

Oh and what is this?
You got some Cheetos up in this shit!
Damn girl
That's tight
And alright

And I always double bag that shit
So dont even ask
My sperm is so powerful
Its stronger than the Super Glue we sell in aisle 4 next to notepads
Sheaat

Till next time little lady
Unless my demo got cut this time
Then it is big time for Darnell
Wait till they check out my bling
They be like "Welcome Home Darnell"
Welcome home

]]>Wed, 17 Dec 2008 22:33:36 GMT
1) You are 38, married, and have 3 children, correct?  Ok, correct.


2) From the picture above you are basically the epitomy of a soccer mom, right?  Right. 
3) You decided to go to the Iowa-Minnesota football game at the Metrodome with your husband, right?  Right.
4) You got drunk on wine (seriously wine at a tailgate) before the game, right?  Right.
5) At some point you decide to go to the bathroom, right?  Right.
6) Then you meet this dude (seriously, this dude?) right?  Right


7) And a quick question for you, aforementioned dude Ross Walsh.  Ross, you claim to be 26 right?  You look more like 46 but still kudos to you.
8) Back to you Lois, dont think you are getting off that easy.

So you after meeting this dude above you decide quote un quote Fuck it, I would like that man inside of me now?  Right
9) And then you decide, fuck it, the bathroom stall will work, right?  Right
10) And then you proceed to get nailed by Ross while 30 people cheer you on, right?  Right
11) Then the cops bust in and arrest you, right?  Right
12) And then who do the cops call to notify?  My husband
13) Ewwww.  I bet that was awkward.  So how do you feel now?  "It's ruined my life"
14) So you are saying you regret it?  Wasn't it super hot getting nailed to the smell of piss and bratwurst shits?  "I don't know what happened," "But I don't deny that it did happen because obviously there are police reports."
15) Yikes.  And what about that handsome stallion who mounted you? Is there a future? "I don't know who this man is,"  "I just found out his name in the paper last night."
16) I have tickets to the Bears game against the Saints.

Editor's note" Lois accepted the offer to attend the game

Read all about her or just google Sex at Iowa Football game.  Thanks for the member submission on the story.

http://www.twincities.com/ci_11081756?source=most_emailed

http://www.desmoinesregister.com/article/20081126/NEWS/81126006